Dear, The only man I ever let get so close to my heart
We couldn’t hold it together anymore, 1 year 8 months down the drain
It’s crazy how I remember the date, the time, the memories
You didn’t know this, no one knew this, because I bottled my emotions
but every night during that full painful month, I wept
cried myself to sleep as I hold my pillow tight only wishing -hoping
that pillow was your body
I drowned myself in those tears, pillow and t-shirt soaked as I reminisced
of our sweet love, funny moments and promises that were made, but only
to be broken. Your face shines bright in my mind with that big ol’ smile.
My little Leo, as I was your little Moonchild. Sun and Moon.
But what happened? I sit here as I constantly ask myself. It always
seems to trouble me. It stirs in my brain. Our story was not finished.
But why did it end so abruptly? Remember the passionate love we made?
Remember looking into each others eyes demanding this is where we
wanted to be - Forever. Your touch drove me crazy. Do you remember the
walls in the house? Where everyone thought we lived together. They held
our deepest darkest secrets. Those are the walls I still see everyday but
now something is missing..You…
I had hoped for a brighter future with you. A big home filled with our
children, running around playing as we hold and lift them high because
they are our world. What hurts me the most are the “what could’ve been”
I was so in Love that every lie you told me, I believed. Foolishly.
Somehow I was trapped in your realm, So wrapped up in the Love
I had for you, while you’d rather club with all those fast girls. You know
we had that Love/Hate relationship although I could never hate you
when I wanted to. There are so many things I wish I could tell you,
how much I miss you. How much you are the only man I have ever
truly loved. But can you hear me? Can you see me? Can you feel my
words? Where did you go? I often find myself crying over the thoughts
of you. Your scent, how you smelled after you put on the cologne I
bought you for Valentine’s day lingers around me. How your long black
wavy hair hung in the night, although you didn’t like your hair down, I did
I took you in for who you were, I have loved you from the very beginning
Everyone thought I was crazy for falling for you
Funny thing was I never thought I would fall so hard.
You had a different way of showing your love, I just couldn’t understand it
Fire and Water doesn’t go together and I see now.
But somehow you will forever remain engraved
In my heart
In my mind
In my soul
To: The Only Man I Ever Let Get So Close To My Heart …